Talking about hypnosis...
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Questions
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HYPKNOWSIS
Answers to your Questions...
Some of your comments, and questions and answers about hypnosis and hypnotherapy.
If you have a comment on the website, or would like to ask a question, I would love to hear from you.
You can post your question here.
| Thankyou |
| From: Lynda Watson in Adelaide 30-Dec-2008 02:12 |
| Hello David My name is Lynda.I am currently studying hypno-psychotherapy and tonight I just cant go to bed and leave your site I have found it so very interesting, and helpfull. I have not got through it all yet but I can see me spending many hours learning from you. I have just finished my diploma and am in the process(daunting as it is) of trying to get started in my own business now. I feel what I have got from your site so far will be there behind me to help me when i need some support...Thankyou Lynda Watson |
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| Thank You! |
| From: Patricia Eslava Vessey in Normandy Park, WA 22-Dec-2008 06:58 |
| Hello Dave, I discovered your site after many hours of internet research. I am deeply moved by your generosity, and how you approach your work. I especially like your response to the woman looking for a contract to work with clients. What you describe is the ideal way of "being" for those of us in the helping professions. Thank you for bringing me back to "center" - to what is truly important in the way we work. Thank you also for the many scripts and information you so freely give. I have used some of them with excellent results. Reading them gives me a picture of who you are too, and I get a clear sense of your congruity. You are a Master, and we all have a lot to learn from you. Thanks again, and the very best wishes to you! Patricia Eslava Vessey Integrity Coaching & Training Systems www.integritylifecoach.com |
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| healing suggestions |
| From: Rocsana in romania 21-Dec-2008 08:34 |
| Hello. I\'m interested in finding out about some healing suggestion. My father just descovered that he suffers of a marrow disorder. The red marrow doesn\'t work properly so his blood cells are affected. We are doing the best we can in helping him to get well. i study psychotherapy, i\'m a masterand, and i believe in the power of the word well spoken. so, my request to you is that maybe you could give me some examples of healing suggestions or anything that you think it could be usefull in this direction. i hope you\'ll find some time to get back to me. I wish you all the best and happy holydays. |
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| Hypnotherapy contracts |
| From: Jenni Donno in England Fri 12/12/2008 02:16 |
| Hi,
I have recently graduated as a hypnotherapist and am about to start
practicing in England on a part time basis. I must congratulate you on a great and informative web site which was really useful in my training. I do believe a colleague of mine also contacted you regarding this! I am looking for a 'model' or 'template' of a contract between therapist and client and can't seem to find one anywhere on the internet. Have you any ideas where I might find this? Thank you again for helping all us budding hypnotherapists! Best wishes Jenni |
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| Hypnotherapy contracts |
| From: Dave Mason in NZ 11 December 2008 22:10 |
| Hi Jenni, good to hear from you, and thank you for your comments on my website. I appreciate that. I don't use a contract. Never have, never will. Hypnosis is intensely personal, and a therapist who thinks he needs to be ready to sue his clients has something seriously wrong with his attitude. If you need a contract, the relationship has already failed, and it is always your fault. In the therapy business the client holds all the aces. The client can lie to you, not turn up, not do what you ask - and there is nothing you can do about it. There is no practical way you can pursue a defaulter through the courts that won't cost you more in time than you get and that doesn't leave you looking desperate and unprofessional. All the client has to do is to say that you were in some way deficient and you have no defence. If the first thing a therapist does is to get the client to fill in a questionnaire and sign a legal disclaimer, full of penalties for non-payment, how likely is it that the relationship gets off to a warm friendly start? A successful therapy business is based on trust, professionalism and referrals. All a contract does is specify in advance all the things that can go wrong, and to focus everyone's attention on them. Bad therapists try to tie clients into agreeing to some number of sessions and then sue them when they don't turn up. That never works. I have no idea how many sessions will be needed or long it will take. You should plan on the basis that you will never see the client again, and aim to do everything you need to do in the first session. It is almost certainly going to be your only session. If it works they don't need to see you again, if it doesn't they don't want to see you again. If all you do is write down stuff in the first session, they feel cheated. Do not take elaborate histories, that is just a waste of time. If you really listen to the client, listen to their body language, what their clothes are saying, listen to their attitude, their choice of words, you will get most of what you need to know in the first ninety seconds. Then you keep asking questions until you define precisely what their problem is and how you are going to tackle it. Then you do the therapy. My sessions take as long as they take, up to two hours. I keep comprehensive records of my sessions, but they are all about me, and what I thought and what I did and how it worked and what might work better next time, and what I learned from this client. The only thing I have from the client is their name and address and email. Clients either pay me on the spot, or I tell them to transfer it to my bank account. I never chase anyone up, and I have never been stiffed. For the occasional clients who are sceptical, especially smokers, I tell them to pay me in six weeks time, when they are sure it has worked. If it hasn't worked, then I don't deserve to get paid. My advice is: forget about contracts, focus on building relationships. Dave |
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| Hypnotherapy contracts |
| From: Jenni Donno in England 12/12/08 23:24 |
| Wow!! Thank you for replying to me. It was a complete surprise to me to hear such a different perspective - because in our training we were told to use a contract I just assumed everyone did - but what you say makes absolute sense! Thank you again for your time. Best wishes Jenni |
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| Past Life Regression |
| From: cpatuwai@hotmail.com in 10-Dec-2008 14:33 |
| Hi I'd like to find out information about Past Life Regression. Any information hugely appreciated. Regards, Cadence Patuwai |
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| hypnotherapy |
| From: Yan in Shropshire 18-Nov-2008 23:35 |
| Hi, Have been studying Hypnotherapy for several months. I study at the Central England College, at Kings Heath Birmingham. I have my first official client next week ie One of my assignments, I came across your website and might I say, how very informative and interesting your site is. Your scripts are some of the best I,ve read. Some of your ideas will help me enourmously. I hope, no I will be a success and look forward to the future and my new career, regards . Yan |
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| Amazed |
| From: Tanvir Ul Hassan in Norway 16-Nov-2008 09:19 |
| Hello my name is Tanvir Ul Hassan and i m a hypnotherapist in Norway, i just vant to say that your website are the most incredible site i ever have seen. I have a lot of respect for you. I have seen hundreds of sites and read a few hundred e books on the net but your knowledge is the best. Thank You for sharing it with us. You are the best :) If you are in scandinavia sometimes please let me know and i vil come to learn from you. Do you have any books i can buy ? THank You very Much best regards Tanvir UL Hassan MAEPH |
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| Negative Suggestions |
| From: Matt in Edinburgh Scotland 15-Nov-2008 13:21 |
| Hello Dave I work as airline cabin crew and a corporate trainer in the UK, and I have a professional background as a teacher. My voluntary roles in counselling over the years have led me to Hypnotherapy training, with Chrysalis and the University of Bournemouth, UK. Whilst searching the internet for material to work on for an essay and script assignment on nail-biting, I was really pleased to discover your website. Many thanks for providing such clear and informative material. I hope that it is acceptable to 'borrow' some of your excellent ideas and phrases regarding therapy, although, clearly, I would not just steal your scripts as they are presented! If you have a moment to respond, I would really appreciate your brief thoughts on the treatment of nailbiting. Whilst my instinct is to work with esteem building and positive suggestion, our tutor hinted at the end of our last seminar, that, (although he advocates positive suggestion), nailbiting may be one area that could use the negative! If you have any words of wisdom, as I begin my screed creation, I would be truly grateful. Thanks again for role modelling a really excellent resource online. Matt |
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| Negative Suggestions |
| From: Dave Mason in Wellington, NZ 16-Nov-2008 13:25 |
| Hi Matt, good to hear from you. Actually you can use the scripts any way you like, apart from selling them. The nail biting script is an explanation of my thinking and how to plan the script, so you should have no problem following the structure. The main thing to focus on is the person's belief in their own capability to change, to be successful at stopping. Then to build multiple visualisations of feeling good about using their nails, capturing how that makes them feel, and then transfer that feeling to the situations where they feel anxious, basically the Core Transformation technique of Connierae Andreas. Then build in Post Hypnotic Suggestions. I don't think it matters if you use negative suggestions. The general belief about 'don't think of an elephant' being bad practice, is over done in my opinion. Enjoy your studies. Dave |
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| Metaphors |
| From: Jeanine in Bangkok, Thailand 03-Nov-2008 16:16 |
| Dear Mr. Mason, I would like to compliment you on the information on your website. I use many of the information bits mentioned on your website in my practice. Whilst I was going through some of the metaphors for my client who suffers from anxiety, I thought I wanted to share my appreciation for you and your generosity for sharing this with fellow colleagues and interested others with you. Best regards, Jeanine Souren, MSc, GQHP Clinical hypnotherapist/Counselor/Coach |
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| Parts Therapy |
| From: Jeanine Souren in Bangkok 06-Nov-08 10:31 |
| Dear Mr. Mason,
I was wondering if I could trouble you for your advise on the following; I have a patient who has a part in her, that stops her from moving forward. I have tried (my own improvised version) of parts therapy with her and I was not able to get the parts integrated. The part that is 'sabotaging' her is very protective of her, and does not want her to change. I was wondering if you might have any suggestions on how to approach this. I have studied the parts pieces that you have on your website, I have used them and changed them a bit for her situation. Any help or idea is welcome! Many thanks in advance, Jeanine Souren Bangkok,Thailand |
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| Parts Therapy |
| From: Dave Mason in NZ 07-Nov-08 11:28 |
| Hi there Jeanine, You have to be careful when dealing with 'parts'. The whole 'parts' thing is only a metaphor for what is really going on. There are no actual parts. What are called parts is in reality a composite of behaviour and beliefs that tell the person how to deal with their environment. I personally seldom do 'parts work' because there are better alternatives. Each 'part' is a pre-packaged ready-to-use response to some external stimulus. The response is formed in childhood, and once it is shown to work, it is never re-evaluated again. It is just used whenever the stimulus, or something that looks a lot like the stimulus, arrives. Over time the responsed get out of date. That is why they cause problems. Some responses are totally inappropriate and no longer serve any purpose and can be replaced easily. However, some responses are regarded by the person as being life saving behaviours. The happen to have some unintended consequences, but that is a small price to pay for being kept safe. Trying to get rid of a part like that is directly threatening the safety of the person, as far as that person's mind is concerned. So the part resists and the more you threaten it the more it fights back. Many smokers are like that. They associate smoking with fitting in with their peer group say, and part of them believes that if they don't have a cigarette they will never have any friends again. What is the remote possibility of cancer compared with the immediate loss of your ability to have friends? Taking away the person's smoking is taking away a core ability, so they can't give up, telling themselves it helps them relax or relieve stress or some other transparent excuse. They are not aware of their real beliefs about smoking, but just cannot give up. The parts approach is to get the part to give up its behaviour, but if that same behaviour is also doing something vital for the person, the therapy does not work. Often the person has no idea what their core belief is and cannot understand their own behaviour. In classical therapy this is called 'resistance', but it is not resistance. It is a perfectly logical response to a perceived threat. In order to avoid the resistance you have to take away the threat. The way to do that is to transform the behaviour, not kill it. Persuade the part to keep on doing its core job, but to do it in a different way, a way that does not have unwanted side effects. This can be done by reframing the perception of the situation, or by using the NLP six step reframe method or by creating a metaphor representing the response and altering the metaphor. Any of these will work. They are all different ways of using transformation instead of elimination. Dave |
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| Parts Therapy |
| From: Jeanine in Bangkok 08-Nov-08 13:46 |
| Hi Dave, Your email made a lot of sense. I have been trying with parts therapy, but you are right; the more I try, the harder the part resists, as it is 'protecting' the client. I will look into the NLP 6- step and the methaphors, I am seeing her on Monday. That gives me a few days to read up on this and prepare. The other client that I have (she's anorexic) also has this going on. I will also see if some of this can apply to her. Many thanks for your input. Much appreciated, warm regards, Jeanine |
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| Sharing |
| From: Margaret in Cairns, QLD 03-Nov-2008 15:06 |
| Hello Dave I found your site today and want to compliment you on the content. Thank you also for being generous and sharing your knowledge with others. It is so helpful to be able to refer to a website wih so much information. Thank you. Margaret |
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| Stop Smoking |
| From: stacey latour in -- 30-Oct-2008 14:52 |
| Hi Dave, I recently did a beginners hypnotherapy course. My mother has been in practice for about 15 years and has much info at my disposal but i enjoy "researching" on the internet. I have visited many sites and read many scripts but I have not found a site as great as yours for the amount of information, not just scripts. I have really appreciated learning the background information, reading actual sessions and understanding why things are done. I love the blocking method. I plan on also writing my own and with practice being able to be more improvisational while using the framework. I used the smoking script with some improv on my son's friend who wanted to quit and its been a week and he says he doesn't even crave them. I used the metaphor technique but made him a cd of the shorter quit smoking script in case he has a bad day. Anyway I just want to say that your site has been and will continue to be very helpful to me as I continue to learn. Thank You so much. Sincerely, Stacey Latour |
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| Hypnosis and the Personality |
| From: Dorian in UK 10-Oct-2008 15:36 |
| I read the hypknowsis.com website with interest and have a question. At first I thought you would find it weird but maybe it gets asked a lot. Here's the background: A lot of people get worried about volunteering for stage hypnotist's shows because they are afraid of what they may be asked to do under hypnosis. Let's use undressing as an example. Let's invent a fictitional volunteer who goes up on stage and let's say the volunteer is a woman who is worried in case the hypnotist implants her subconscious with the suggestion to take her clothes off. I have seen it stated OVER and OVER and OVER again that the following of any suggestion under hypnosis has to conform to the internal values posessed by the volunteer (or at least the values of their profoundly uninhibited subconscious anyway) and that therefore they would not do anything that was usually morally or ethically wrong to them. So basically our woman is not going to get undressed on stage UNLESS the designs of her own subconscious allow her. But let's imagine also that in the past she has had the tendency to be an exhibitionist when very drunk and that she HAS taken her clothes off at a party. She regretted what she had done and has been embarrassed about it ever since, but nevertheless she still did it. She is presumably not aware of what her subconscious values are now or how her subconscious might respond to the suggestion to undress without the control of her conscious mind. In her completely awake conscious state however, she dreads the idea of degrading herself by undressing on stage i.e. it is something she definitely DOESNT want to do under any circumstances. My question(s) therefore: Is it possible that this woman's uninhibited subconscious could let her down in the example and allow her to follow the suggestion to get undressed on stage and thus, by one way or another, she HAS been led into doing something she didn't want to do. If you HAVE been prone to doing embarrasing things in the past (for example while drunk) then you should not agree to volunteer to be hypnotised because no matter how much you don't want to do something like that beforehand, it IS possible that you may well do something under hypnosis that could degrade, embarrass or traumatise you later? |
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| Hypnosis and the Personality |
| From: Dave Mason in NZ 10-Oct-2008 15:35 |
| Hi Dorian, good to hear from you. I was intrigued by your question and I passed it on to a friend of mine who is a stage hypnotist. This is what he said: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I have seen many people come onto my stage with their hands locked, not wanting to be there. I have seen many people convinced to do things they didn't want to do, simply because they didn't know that they had a choice! (Not always under Hypnosis either - what about the new TV or car that many people have been talked into buying, when all they were doing was "browsing"??? :-) ) I have had many people ask me to promise not to make them take their clothes off and if they trust me they are always pleased that I have kept my word. I have also seen many people TRY to take their clothes off against my suggestion! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The issue for me is 'who is it who is doing the behaving? Who is the 'me' that is in charge?' Models of the mind suggest that there are two different 'minds' the unconscious and the conscious. However these are just metaphors, useful or not so useful ways of trying to understand motivation and behaviour. The whole issue of volition and control have been investigated by philosophers and psychologists for centuries without coming to a definitive answer so I will not attempt to define it here. But, it is obvious that if we were able to do so we would all like to go along the street and take anything we want. The reason we don't is because we have social pressures, legal requirements, moral codes, mental instructions and so on that prevent us doing that. We still want to do it, but we don't. Some of us also want to hit people, eat till we burst, take off our clothes and run around naked, and many other things that reflect basic drives. But we don't do it. Sometimes people do do these things when they think they won't be seen or when they think they won't get caught, or when everyone else is doing it too. There is always a balance between the drive and the control. So we all have ambivalent attitudes to many things. As children we are taught not to do certain things and rules are impressed on us to make sure we don't. We also have equally strong desires that make us want to do these things. Usually the external rules control the internal needs. But some things can remove these external rules. Alchohol is one of them. Hypnosis is another. Drinking alcohol disables one part of the mind, and in the process disconnects all the external rules. Some behavour comes out that was previously suppressed - violence, cameradery, exhibitionism among others. So which is the real person, the quiet lady who is prim and proper when sober or the noisy tramp who shows up when she gets too much to drink? You wrote -- My question(s) therefore: Is it possible that this woman's uninhibited subconscious could let her down in the example and allow her to follow the suggestion to get undressed on stage and thus, by one way or another, she HAS been led into doing something she didn't want to do. --- My response is that this hypothetical woman is not being led into doing something she doesn't want to do, she is being led into doing something that other people don't want her to do, but she does. Her unconscious doesn't let her down, it sets her free. Those other people, through their rules and injuctions have been controlling and suppressing her internally desired behaviour. Now, I am not saying that this is right or wrong or good or bad, but that in my view the real personality is the one that would be operating if there were no rules to stop it. I am not saying that it is healthy or appropriate or anything else, but what the person wants to do is what they want to do. The human mind is very complex and poorly understood so we have no idea what caused some people to want to be exhibitionists or over eat or whatever it is. What I do believe is that every behaviour has a positive intention, and is meant to be doing something for us. The violent drunk is acting out the child's fear that is normally suppressed. The smoochy slut is actually acting out the child's attempt to get noticed and loved. The woman who overeats is trying to give herself the comfort and love her mother gave her when she was a child, These behaviours may be destructive and inappropriate but they are aimed at helping the person feel better. It has been shown over and over that people will not do things that will conflict with their obvious basic safety. Erickson could not get anyone ever to put their hand into a tank of rattlesnakes. We do not put our fingers into the blender or run out in front of buses because they are not doing anything positive for us. And no amount of hypnosis would make us do that. The basic purpose of the unconscious mind is to keep us alive, and those behaviours are contrary to that purpose. However, the behaviours that we want to do are there to help us. And given a chance, we will do them, no matter how bizarre they might seem to others. Smoking is actually positive, procrastination is actually positive, and for some people stripping off on a stage is actually positive. Smoking is positive because it is mixed up with feeling grown up, or being a rebel or dealing with stress. Procrastination is positive because by not starting something you cannot be criticised for not doing it right when you have finished. I have no idea why taking your clothes off might be positive, but I am not about to condemn people who do. We all have our needs. You wrote --- If you HAVE been prone to doing embarrasing things in the past (for example while drunk) then you should not agree to volunteer to be hypnotised because no matter how much you don't want to do something like that beforehand, it IS possible that you may well do something under hypnosis that could degrade, embarrass or traumatise you later? --- Well, if you know you will inevitably act in a way that will lead other people to censure you, then yes you shouldn't do it. This applies to everything in life, not just hypnosis. Hypnosis in this context is not ordering you to do anything. It is pemitting you to do things you would not ordinarily be allowed to do by the rules that you carry around in your head. Other people's rules. So the second part of your question is really about doing something you have been told you must not do (not that you don\'t want to do it) by other people because those other people might use it to degrade, embarrass and traumatise you later. So as I said at the beginning, in my view the real you does want to do it, and there is no conflict. All the hypnotist is doing is letting you become yourself. Dave |
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| Hypnosis and the Personality |
| From: Dorian in UK 12-Oct-2008 16:22 |
| David thankyou very much for your very comprehensive answer. Essentially you have given me the answer that I suspected to be true which is that you don\'t really know for sure what behaviour hypnosis may UNMASK on stage. I accept that a person has innate and deeply held desires which always have survival or benefit as a basic theme and therefore all that hypnosis does is to allow a person to become themselves. I still maintain however that as a side effect of a person becoming their true self under hypnosis, (yes and alcohol, drugs aswell of course) there may be consequences that are bad enough for that particular person to not want to do that particular thing under any circumstances. I have since thought of a better way to exemplify my point. The woman, who has previously exposed herself, has been told by her husband that if she does it again (including under hypnosis), he is going to file for divorce and take the children. Now because of her inner desire to be extrememy exhibitionist, She is still at risk of undressing on stage. It is something that the REAL HER wants to do, I agree with you however the EVERY DAY HER most seriously does not want to do it. If she then proceeds to undress on stage and ends up in the divorce court, what good is it to her to be told it was the real her and that inside she did want to do it. Surely in some circumstances, the outer person, the controlled person is what matters. This woman\'s every day conscious did not want her to undress on stage. When anxious people ask you to promise not to make them undress under hypnosis, Do you tell them that whatever they do, it is only what they want to do inside so why should thet be bothered. Or do you just promise them no? People don't want to degrade themselves. Even if the degradation is the benchmark of others, it still counts. As a side point and I am aware of the constraints of your precious time so I will make this brief. Is it really possible to trick someone into an action that even their true subconscious would not have wanted them to do? If the woman was skillfuly given the suggestion that her clothes were on fire, or that she was in her own home preparing for a bath and then told to undress, would she? |
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| Hypnosis and the personality |
| From: Dave Mason in NZ 13-Oct-2008 12:45 |
| Hi there, Much of what you say is undoubtedly true: there can be consequences of going on stage to be hypnotised, or having too much to drink. However, no one has ever been forced to go on stage, and you have to deliberately choose to go into a theatre when a hypnosis show is on, and they are fairly rare. It's not like there's a hypnosis show on every corner, the way there is a bar on every corner. I don't really understand what your concern is. Your example has exact parallels with drinking or drugs. If the woman is told of the consequences and then is unable to stop herself going ahead and doing it, then she has a compulsive disorder and needs psychotherapy treatment. It doesn't do the alchoholic any good either to be told that I understand his need to drink. What he needs is therapy. The woman who needs to undress is not a helpless victim. She has options, other than avoidance. Anyone with that sort of compulsion is acting out inner psychological needs and the behaviour can be regarded as a diagnosis of those needs. You ask if it possible to trick the person into doing something her subconscious would not have wanted them to do. The answer is yes, yes, yes. We all do it all the time. But our subconscious seldom has a single focus. How many people find themselves doing work that should be done by others that they find themselves screaming about inside? How many people can not say no to any request, even though they hate it? All of us have heads full of contradictory instructions that simultaneously say 'do this' and at the same time 'do not do this'. Our inner programming is not all at the same strength, some over ride others. But there is no program that would violate our basic safety. Your boss might ask you to work late and you feel obliged to do it, even though you know the wife is going to scream and shout at you when you get home. Still you feel weak and unable to resist, and even though you desperately want to go home, you just can't bear the possibility of a conflict because it brings up childhood terrors of your parents arguing and about to leave you. But if your boss told you to jump out of the window you wouldn't. Under hypnosis you will do some things but not others. Hypnosis is not all powerful. It cannot over ride deeply held beliefs or moral values. When you are hypnotised part of you is at all times aware of where you are and what you are doing. I was at a hypno show once where the 'magic glasses' routine was being done. The guys put on fake glasses and are told that everyone's clothes become invisible. One girl on stage immediately became distressed, and it turned out that she did not want to be seen naked in public. The hynotist told her that the guys could see everyone else but not her, and she sat there quite happy and enjoyed the reaction of the guys as they looked at everybody else. In the same show one of the guys given the glasses suddenly got up and walked off the stage. I asked him afterwards and he told me that he did not think it was right to see people exposed like that so he automatically popped out trance and resumed his seat. He was a friend of mine and I know that he is a highly susceptible subject so there was no question of his not being in trance while on the stage. If the woman was skillfuly given the suggestion that her clothes were on fire, or that she was in her own home preparing for a bath and then told to undress - she would not. Not if she held beliefs about not being seen naked in public. Hypnosis will only take you so far. You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink, especially if it knows the drink is poisonous. Dave |
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| Hypnosis and the personality |
| From: Dorian in UK 14-Oct-2008 18:12 |
| Thank you very much again The second part of my question I think I am now starting to understand. My confusion in this respect was that if a person under hypnosis can be made to believe an onion is an apple and they proceed to eat it which is something they would refuse to do normally, then cannot a person be made to undress if they are similarly tricked into believing they are in danger of burning if they do not. You have explained this very well and I now appreciate that even when sensory perception is decieved, it is still at a superficial level of conscious compared to a persons deeper attitudes which will continue to protect that person from doing something they regret. The need to avoid being naked in front of an audience is probably far more powerful for most people than the need to avoid eating something horrible. I started imagining that despite not wanting to eat an onion normally, someone would be far more likely to do this than they would to undress in public. Then I thought of the experiences of my own youth under the influence of the demon drink and I can recall once drinking a full glass of chilli flavoured olive oil for a laugh when I was drunk. I did it to make others laugh at the time but I would not choose to do this at work now. I emphasize the word choose rather than mortally avoid because my inner programming knows that drinking olive oil is not really harmful although it wasn't very nice. In contrast, I also know that no matter how drunk, I would never have stripped off in public. I can therefore now appreciate that if I were hypnotised and made to believe a glass of olive oil was wine, I would probably agree to drink it, but that no deception would trick me into undressing. So thank you for that explanation. Job done. The first part of the question is still harder for me to grasp and that is the issue of which inner drive would prevail in the case of my fictitional woman who has the tendency to expose herself but also a mortal dread of the consequences of doing so. I know the initial volunteering is a protective barrier because nobody is compelled to volunteer but for the sake of the example, that is irrelevant because we are assuming she HAS volunteered and also that despite her fears, she has succesfully been put in a trance and has turned out to be highly suggestable. The concept I am trying to grasp is this: When she is asked to undress, If her dread and fear of the consequences are strong enough, Will those conscious fears turn out to be just as much a powerful part of her subconscious as her need to be naked in public and would they prevail. Would her fears of consequences be as powerful an inhibitor as the threat of physical harm or would she proceed to undress? I am starting to come round to the idea that the answer is no and that it is not only the avoidance of physical danger that governs a persons uninhibited actions. In other words if she deems the consequences of undressing to be so great then in her subconscious mind, surely it would count just as much as the threat of physical harm and she would not follow the instruction. If this is NOT the case then we would be at the mercy of our unknown subconscious under hypnosis. Also, if it were NOT the case, then whenever a stage hypnotist gives reassurance that nobody will do anything they are not programmed to do, they should add a warning that potentially someone under hypnosis COULD do something they regret later due to the person\'s unknown subconscious desires but I don\'t think I believe it. Am I right? Thanks again |
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| Hypnosis and the personality |
| From: Dave Mason in NZ 15-Oct-2008 20:27 |
| Hi Dorian, Yes, I think you have resolved the issue as far as it is possible to resolve a hypothetical situation. There is no way of know which drive would be most powerful, the desire to be an exhibitionist, or the desire to keep her family. I believe that on balance, the exhibitionist would prevail. The law of reversed effect predicts that the unconscious mind will always defeat the conscious intent. People do all sorts of things even though they know the consequences might be catastrophic. George Michael, the singer, engaged in repeated public exhibitions in London parks for personal gratification, even though the consequences could have included losing a multi-million dollar income, and did include worldwide public humiliation. He knew this before hand but apparently was unable to prevent himself from doing it repeatedly. Logical considerations just do not apply when the subconscious mind is in the driving seat. Perhaps you might want to think about why you drank that glass of chili oil. You say it was for a laugh, but I suspect it was actually because at the time you wanted to be accepted and approved by the others. This is a very powerful subconscious need that drives much of the aberrant behaviour of young people. You say you would not choose to do this at work now. I wonder if perhaps that is because you have matured emotionally since then, and you have less need to seek the approval of others. One seldom sees geriatrics getting up on stage to be hypnotised. Perhaps they don't need it. Dave |
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| Hypnosis and the personality |
| From: Dorian in UK 17-Oct-2008 00:09 |
| Interesting ! Actually I doubt that my emotional development is any different now to how it was then. If I were to be in a similarly wild environment next week, I reckon it would still be possible to pursuade me to drink olive oil for a laugh yet under no circumstances would I do it sober at work. Similarly it would appear that you have now given me the answer to the dichotomy that I had previously been struggling to understand. What you're saying is that even though it is difficult to predict the outcome of a set of particular circumstances in any one individual, the general likelihood is that a persons subconscious can allow someone to do something disasterous to themselves. Good example George Michael ! To extrapolate this logic to some sort of a conclusion then. This means that when someone willingly volunteers to be hypnotised on stage, it IS possible for them to be coaxed into doing something that is totally unacceptable to them. They would have to be almost unbelievably unlucky to both be in the situation where they are asked to do something so unacceptable consciously yet still have the subconscious predisposition to doing it anyway but it COULD happen. Obviously any such individual would not consciously want to do an activity that could have catastrophic physical, emotional or psychological consequences to them later, their wish to avoid it being absolutely genuine to their conscious mind, yet they could still end up doing it. Taking this one step further, it is possible to argue the point that information found on most stage hypnotist's websites does not explain as much as could be explained. In the FAQs page of most websites there is usually some explanation of reassurance to would-be volunteers along the lines that no one under hypnosis can be made to do anything morally unacceptable to them. Indeed that may be true but it is never explained that the level of moral acceptability is not at the conscious level as is implied but at the subconscious level about which many people will have no knowledge. If the whole truth were told, the wording would instead be something like: 'Under hypnosis you will do whatever your own subconscious will allow you to do which IN MOST CASES means you will not do anything you are morally opposed to BUT, there is NO absolute guarantee that your own hidden subconscious will not lead you to do something that might be totally unacceptable to you normally.' Of all the websites I have seen however, I have never seen such a statement and for obvious reasons. It would put people off unnecessarily because the chances of it happening to most are remote. Putting aside for one moment the fact that my example is purely theoretical and highly exaggerated, making it impossible to predict since, (as far as we are aware) it has never happened. Would you agree with this conclusion? |
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| Hypnosis and the personality |
| From: Dave Mason in NZ 19-Oct-2008 09:28 |
| Yes, I think that about sums it up. However, the warning can be applied to everything. As the George Michael example shows, you don't need be hypnotised to indulge in voluntary behaviour that is ultimately damaging. You only have to be human. Dave |
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| Hypnosis and the personality |
| From: Dorian in UK 20-Oct-2008 18:04 |
| In that case I will take the opportunity to say thanks for all you time and for putting up with my awkward questions. No doubt you will go away thinking 'No more crazy fictitional scenarios to read and thank god for that' but sometimes asking questions based on exaggerated practical example is the only effective way to get an answer without risk of ambiguity and generalisation. It is something I do a lot, infact friends at medical school used to say I was in the wrong profession and should have gone into law. I doubt I can repay the favour but don\'t hesitate to ask. An anaesthetist friend of mine is heading out to work in NZ, I will recommend you if he ever decides he wants the services of a hypnotist be it for entertainment or clinical purposes. Many thanks again |
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| Fear of Flying |
| From: zofia in USA 08-Oct-2008 13:15 |
| Good afternoon, I am thoroughly enjoying reading your website. In particular, I have a question regarding the treatment for a fear of flying. How far in advance to the event of flying should/could a hypnotherapy session be done? I have flown a few times before but am always anxious and don't enjoy the experience. I am due to take a trip early January 2009. Your thoughts would be appreciated as I would like to get on top of this. Kind regards, Zofia |
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| Fear of Flying |
| From: David Mason in NZ 09-Oct-2008 22:46 |
| The treatment of fear of flying, when successful, should produce an immediate elimination of the fear. It is best to have the treatment shortly before the next flight so that the mind does not have time to dwell on its previous negative tendencies again. Once the flight has been successfully completed the experience of it will overwrite the old fears and the client should be able to travel normally from then on. Dave |
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| Anchoring |
| From: CDH in USA 26-Sep-2008 17:02 |
| Hi, I've been reading your site and I think it is wonderful. I was wondering, is it possible to anchor multiple states to one action? Can I perform the same anchor each time I have a person experience a state and therefore have one anchor allow them to experience a plethora of states? |
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| Anchoring |
| From: Dave Mason in NZ 26-Sep-2008 17:00 |
| Hi there Good to hear from you. I really appreciate it when I get feedback about the site. My aim is to create the best hypnosis site on the Internet, and to provide information that is all original, all based on scientific research and only what I have verified from my own clinical experience. Much of what is on the Internet I think is posted by people with no real qualifications or experience and the result is poorly written, misleading or wrong. So it is very gratifying to learn that other people value my site and I really appreciate it when others take the time to comment on it. Thank you. As to anchoring, there are many aspects to consider. Just to be clear, the NLP theory of anchoring says that people can be put into particular emotional states and when in that state, if they are subjected to some external stimulus they will form an association between the stimulus and the emotion. The emotion is anchored to the stimulus such that repeating the stimulus evokes the emotion. There are three problems with the theory: a) that you can get people to enter emotional states, b) that people can form associations between emotions and stimuli, and c) that the stimuli can reliably cause the emotion to re-occur. In my experience it is difficult to show that anchoring works at all. a) Many people can not voluntarily enter particular emotional states. Depressed people especially tell me that they cannot remember a single happy time in their life. They have absolutely no happy memories of any kind and the only state they can call up is despair. When doing Core Transformation is not unusual that when you get to the core state people tell you that they cannot remember ever being loved, or accepted, Not once, and no amount of empathy or analogy or metaphor can get them to recall that experience. Now in these cases it not possible that they never had a single moment of happiness or feeling accepted for anything, so it must be an emotion that they do have but just cannot access. I have seen many demonstrations of anchoring, but I have never been convinced that the subject couldn\'t just as easily be fooling thenselves into believing it. I am not saying they were cheating, just that there is too much possibility of compliance with what the hypnotist was expecting. Certainly I have never seen a proof it by instantly conquering a phobia for example. I have personally tried it with Fear of Flying clients. You get them to get into their fear state, then get them to remember a happy state and then combine the two. What I have observed is that the fear state instantly swamps the happy state and drives it right out and the client is left in fear. If the theory is right, then it assumes that the emotional states are equal strong, but there is no reason I can see to assume that. The theory of anchoring says that you cannot hold two feelings at once, so the positive feeling dilutes the negative feeling. But if you cannot hold two feelings at once, how then is it possible to \'stack\' anchors? Logically, if you are feeling happy then you are feeling happy, and you cannot feel more happy. There are not degrees of happiness. You are either happy or you are not, and so I cannot see how stacking would work. Similarly if you anchor for confidence, and for success and for say wellbeing, and try to stack them how is it that they can all exist in your mind at the same time and not cause total confusion? b) I have no doubt that stimuli can be linked to emotions. People can form associations instantly in what is called single experience learning, but that is for extremely life threatening sudden shocks, not for pleasant memories.During my classes in psychology we set out to create conditioned responses in rats (and students) and it was ridiculously difficult to get even a hungry rat to learn the association between pressing a lever and getting a drink of milk as a result. It took literally hundreds of trials and several weeks for it to get the idea. Students took even longer to learn. You might think that drinking beer and getting hangovers were fairly well associated but some students still hadn\'t learned that by the time they graduated. So I have a lot of difficulty believing that thinking of something and getting your finger squeezed a few times makes a powerful association. c) If anchoring is easy and reliable, why would we need therapists? Surely all that would be needed would be to tell you once to remember a time when you were happy, set an anchor and fire it. Then you could fire it every hour and be ecstatically happy all your life. The constant firing would reinforce the anchor and any time you felt bad about anything you just fire your anchor. But it doesn\'t happen, does it? As far as I am aware, no one has ever reliably demonstrated being able to fire a physical anchor reliably for more than a few minutes. Actors can reliably get themselves to cry by thinking of a sad event, but no one has ever shown this to work by say, touching their hand or shining a light. I freely admit that I could be wrong, maybe I have not being doing it right, maybe my expectations are getting in the way of success, but I have yet to be convinced that anchoring can be used in therapy on a consistent and repeatable basis. So, to answer your question, I do not think that anchors can be stacked so that the client can experience a plethora of states simultaneously. And why would they even want that? And by definition if you anchor a state by one action, and then get them to enter a different state and anchor it with the same action, then the second state would overwrite the first one. Stacking is done by using different actions and then pressing them all at once. In my opinion the best way to achieve what you are getting at is to get the person to enter the state, and then increase the intensity by linking a change in the state to a change in something else. Breathing is a good one. Get the person to find a suitable memory, then get the emotion, then tell them that with every breath the emotion is getting stronger, they can feel it in their body, they can feel it growing spreading, rising from their toes up through their..... etc.... this works very well and will do everything you want, I think. Dave |
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| Great |
| From: Tiina in Australia 26-Sep-2008 15:13 |
| Dear David, I'm unfortunately in Aussie so Wellington is a little far for me to travel but I would just like to say that your internet site is great. I have been having hypnotherapy and your site is the most informative down to earth site I have found that is not a commercial American advertisment. It's very easy to relate to and easy to navigate. Thanks again, Tiina |
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| Anxiety |
| From: Dave Mason in NZ 10-Sep-2008 21:16 |
| Hi Alison, What you are describing is quite common, most people suffer from it from time to time. What is happening is that you are asked a question, you know the answer, but a bit of doubt creeps in, either that you might be wrong, or that the answer will not please the other person. This sets off a mini panic attack, in which your mind goes into fight-or-flight mode and everything else is cleared away so that you can make a break for safety. Of course another part of your mind knows that there is no need to run away so you end up tongue tied, unable to speak and feeling stupid. The basic problem is low esteem or low self confidence. The treatment is to provide therapy to increase the person's confidence, often called 'ego strengthening'. You will find several methods for doing this on this site. Dave |
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| Anxiety |
| From: Alison in UK 10-Sep-2008 00:26 |
| Hi, I was reading your site and I can't seem to find the problem im experiencing on there I would like to know more about it. Could you please direct me to the appriopate section. Sometimes when people ask me questions that I do know the answer for, but for some reason my mind goes blank, for no reason. |
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| Thnaks |
| From: Julie Schoenfield in Canada 19-Aug-2008 11:57 |
| This is by far the most comprehensive site that I have been to, you are doing the profession a world of good. Thank you, thank you, thank you! |
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| Scripts |
| From: Mike Addison in New Mexico 18-Aug-2008 10:26 |
| Excellent site! And I love the scripts. I've become a hypno-script junkie lately collecting all that I can for my client work. Thanks for the great work! :D Mike Addison - C.Ht, C.NLPt, C.Graphologist cognitivememeticalhypnosis@gmail.com |
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| From: j park in Oz 14-Aug-2008 16:17 |
| hi Dave, i think this is the best hypnosis site ever!!! j park from australia. |
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| Goals |
| From: Terry Jay in Brisbane 12-Aug-2008 21:57 |
| I have been a regular visitor to your site. Still there are heaps of readings to do. I personally think this site is the best hypnosis site in the world in terms of the quality of information posted and also originality of the scripts you provided here - I know it because I googled each of them. I am interested in finding out what I really want to do. I am doing with my current job and achieving things but somehow I feel I am short changed and could do much better. I like your "Goals" section and I realised that I haven't written down my goals - of course I should ask the dare question to myself first. I just don't want to exist but love my life fully. I haven't finished reading information re goals but I am sure I will get something valuable from reading and following your suggestions/advices here. First of all, I should eliminate my tendency of procrastinating things. Then need to get emotional balance - recently I tend to lose my tempter easily. Anyway, Well done Dave for the great job you have done and I will keep coming back to your site. Keep up the great work! Terry. |
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| Thanks |
| From: Elizabeth Flowers in UK 10-Aug-2008 01:15 |
| Hi I live in the United kingdom. I have been looking at your site, it is fantastic. I am training to become a hypnotherapist and am just about to embark upon my Diploma stage, which will complete in february 2009. I am looking at Erikon's early learning set at present. Your site has helped me enourmously and I wanted to thank you for making the information available. I hope to set up my own practice and will certainly model some of that practice on your information. many thanks |
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| Great website |
| From: David Harper in England 08-Aug-2008 18:44 |
| Hi Dave, I'm from England, hypnosis is a hobby for me. I just wanted to say, thank you for outdoing yourself and other websites in terms of informative content! I hope you get lots of business from clients, you deserve it! Have a great week, David |
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| Procrastination |
| From: Helen Yang in Hong Kong 08-Aug-2008 17:29 |
| I just finished reading your Procrastination Hypnosis Script on Distraction procrastination. It is wonderful, I managed to finish reading it without being distracted! Everything you write is so true, it felt like I was reading about myself. After reading this script I was able to figure out that: My goal is pretty straight forward - to complete my PhD. My distractions are: emails, chatting with friends on messenger, social networking sites, browsing the web for news and all sorts of nonsense such as fashion, celebrity gossips, health and fitness stuff and so on. I can spend hours browsing on Trademe and also spend much time watching TV. My frog now is data analysis whereas some time ago it was transcribing the interviews (I still have to transcribe a few more). I'm happy to do anything else but this. Sometimes I get fed up of doing useless stuff for hours. Then I start cooking or cleaning around the house. At least I feel good that I did something useful when I see my family appreciating the food I made or when I see my home shining clean. There is a big part of me that prevaricates: I try to convince myself that "I can do all this stuff easily if I just wanted to because I'm an intelligent person. I have the skills and knowledge to complete my degree. My English is good enough, I can write well. It's just all of that mechanical tedious work of transcribing and sorting the data that is boring and stopping me from producing commendable write-ups. I have plenty of time, I'm just waiting for The Day when I'll jump out of my bed in the morning and will feel like working. Then it will all come out so easily and nicely..." This part of my self is quite powerful and easily bits the other side that tries to say: "you're lazy, you're fat and unattractive" and so on... I think it's good that I'm not focusing on those bad things, that's just because I'm a positive person. I'm like Scarlett O'Hara, I say "I don't want to think about it now, I'll think about it tomorrow." I apologise for writing all these but I feel I can trust you. To begin with, your script is to blame - it inspired me to do this. And you're a professional, you respect the people who reveal their worst sides to you, don't you? I'm sure you do. Thank you Dave, Helen |
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